Back in the Saddle, Feb 25

I am amazed at how quickly my vitality has come back.  My daily coktails of chlorophyl, blackradish juice, dandelion tincture, milk thistle and now green clay have done wonders.  For weeks, upon waking, I had horrible bags under my eyes, and felt terribly stiff even though I kept up with my morning yoga regimen.  All this has awakened in me a deep curiosity about how possibly toxic my liver may have been, not just since the vaccinations, but for years.  Was my quick temper more related to an unhealthy liver than an actual emotional wound? I am deeply motivated to find out if a continued diet to cleanse my liver will radically affect my irritability and reactivity.

I finally feel on track with my intent for this journey-healing on a deep level.  

As much as my life has been amazingly exciting and productive, I have been reflecting, during these last few weeks of weakness and stagnation, on how plagued with conflicts and break-ups my existence has been.  What would it be to live with more peace, ease and love?  What would it take to avoid creating so much turbulence in my path?  How can I develop more spaciousness and take things less personally?

I have given myself a long break from many of my habits such as work, pot, driving, starring at a computer screen and even chewing gum, so I pray that this journey yields wonders on my heart and that I come back a very healthy and happy (yes!) man.

Healing My Liver, Lyon, Feb. 22

Ever since I arrived in Europe, my vitality had been slumping. After the usual recovery from jetlag and adjustment to a new (and rich !) diet, my energy kept getting more and more sluggish. I gave myself ample room to go slow and begin a journey of healing, but I started navigating through some very strange states. Besides my body being less than cooperative (tiredness as well as muscle and joint aches), my mind was also going toward a blank . I felt kinda lost, unable to make any decisions regarding where to go next on this trip. Many times, I contemplated returning to the US because I felt so weak I did not feel fit to travel to Africa. I had never felt so vulnerable before.

Was the deep healing that I was seeking manifesting in this way, taking me first through a descent full of anxiety, physical pains, doubt and confusion ? At times, it was as if I was in a strange dream. Everything in me was slow, hazy and empty of meaning.

Not having to do too much, I laid low, read, slept and napped copiously. Be patient and kind with yourself I was told. So I did ! In six weeks, things kept getting worse. I started suspecting a candida overgrowth as my diet had been rich in bread, cheese and, you know, French pastries !

An osteopath was visiting my friend Lala, with whom I am staying in Lyon, so I decided to have a session with her. For nearly two hours, she worked on me, trying to bring heat to my freezing feet and get my energy moving again. She mentioned, from the information I gave her during the intake interview, that my liver was probably dumping toxins and was creating the tiredness.

At that time, a light bulb went on ! Two months ago I got vaccinated for yellow fever, thyphoid, polio, tetanus,, hepatitis and meningitis. Vaccins are hard on the liver and I hadn’t really done anything to help my system cope with the toxicity.

That night, I did some research on Google and set out to the health food store in the morning to get : Black radish, Dandelion, Ginger, Milk Thistle, Rosemary, as well as homeopathic Thuya to help eliminate the aluminum that the vaccines contain.

Well guess what ? After one coktail of the wonderous substances, I felt my joy, clarity and energy immediately come back !

I finally was able to make a decision for my next destination and booked a ticket for Ghana for March 8th.

It has been a very humbling experience to say the least !

Chartreuse, France, Feb. 17-19

My friends Dan and Lala invited me to spend the weekend in Chartreuse, 1 1/2 hour from Lyon. Denis, Dan's brother, was going to be there with his daughter Loulou. I haven't seen Denis in over 20 years. He's a musician and artist married to renowned French choreographer Maguy Marin. I used to live with Dan and Denis when I taught skiing in the Alps in the late 70's. Seeing him opened my heart to something new, something I may have forgotten-a love of men, especially those who are way off the chart! The kids convinced me to go skiing and I went with my street clothes! I had the sweetest time skiing in the old resort of St Pierre de Chartreuse. We stayed in a 100 year-old farm house that my friends' community renovated. Raclette, the typical melted cheese-over-potatoes dish from the region, was on our menu the first night. Carried away by my excitement of being with my old friends, I ate as I used to do 30 years ago and paid the price the next day! I could barely move and spent most the day lounging on the deck. Walking around the woods and fields was a delight. Being up in this pristine and serene part of France was a reprieve from the madness, stench and filth of Marrakesh where I was a few days ago. See Slideshow

After a week in Morroco, Feb. 9

Since I told many people I would maintain a blog and have put link to it on the Gypsie Nation website, I gues I need to start somewhere. However, I have to admit having much resistance to sharing what I am experiencing on this journey.

In late September, when I decided to go visit my family in France and Morroco (my last visit to France was in 1994!), I surprised myself with booking a ticket for a 3 1/2 months trip when I thought I was going for a short visit. During the next several weeks, I received distinct messages from African animal spirits asking me such things as "you need to bring us back with you". I took these messages as if I needed to go to Africa to get something-some initiation, experience or healing that would continue feeding my spirit journey and nurture the Gypsie Nation vision.

The two months I spent in Seattle before heading to France were very difficult. Distancing myself from Gypsie Nation, upon the advice of the elders Kenneth Green and Woody Vaspra, and after being at the epicenter of much emotional turmoil within our organization, left me spinning in a dusty coktail of grief, anger and abandonment. Away from my usual whirlwind of creation, traveling, meetings and dancing, I sunk into much despair. Tending to my friend Ted who was dying of cancer was also quite a challenge as his mental turmoil deeply affected me. Staying with my sister Mali was a blessing however, her deep nurturing love and acceptance gave me space to begin a new level of healing. Allowing myself to be seen and held in the emotional state that I was in was not easy. After so many years of squabbling, becoming in love again with my sister was a magnificent gift.

My two weeks in France were relatively calm as I visited my oldest brother, my father and his partner, my niece and grand nephew, my nephew, as well as a few old friends. I felt calm and detached during the daytime, yet concerned about having no destination for my journey besides a visit to a brother in Morroco. At night, as in Seattle, I swam in anxiety about going to Africa and returning home (if only I had one!).

As much as signals were clear before my departure that my destination was Africa, no particular country was calling me specifically. So I booked a one way ticket to Marrakech, Morroco and have now been in the country for over a week.

My brother lives in a small town in the Atlas mountains and supervises the construction of a horse ranch and hostel, part of a traveling outfit called Sport Travel. Landing in this quiet and depressed area threw me again in a spin of questioning about the purpose of my journey. I deeply enjoy connecting with my older brother Eric whose sense of hospitality is exquisite, and whose love of Nature parrallels mine, but my first exposure to an Islamic culture is rattling my tiny cage. Seeing lethargic men laying around town while women wash laundry and carry huge stacks of wood is shocking and revolting. I had been warned by both my brother and my sister Mali who have traveled extensively in African countries, yet the direct experience is painful to my sensitive nature.

Traveling in remote areas however and going over the craziest of mountain passes, I discover villages of amazing beauty, with gardens fed by ellaborous irrigation system, blooming almond trees and kids whose faces still reflect the innocence of a people hardly touched by our modern civilization.

Attempting to get any clarity on the next leg of my journey has been difficult in this environment, and most of my early mornings in bed have been riddled with doubt and anxiety, to the point of wanting to abandon the journey and return home.

I sold my car to pay for this journey as my last four years of supporting Gypsie Nation have exhausted all my savings and left me in debt. In my state of limbo and fear, my mind has been drifting into the future, wondering how I will fare when I get back to the US, with no money, no home, no car and no livelihood.

Needless to say that this journey so far has kicked my sweet buns. I have always been a self-assured, creative and successful entrepreneur. My inward journey of the past several months has faced me with many challenges and hopefully taught me some humility and compassion. Away from my usual busyness, heavy schedule and agenda, lovers, chocolate and other intoxicants, I am undergoing a stripping down of major proportion.
I often feel naked and vulnerable, small and powerless, especially in front of the poverty and illiteracy plagging a great percentage of the population here, leaving Islam to fill the gap and keeping a population in bondage.

After 10 days in Morroco, I have decided to return to France to stage the next leg of my journey. Flying to Africa from France and getting visas is easier there.

Not having opportunities to dance and celebrate in community has been very difficult but has made me appreciate what we have created through Gypsie Nation to uplift our spirit and, hopefully, the spirit of the world.
See Slideshow 1 and Slideshow 2