Last Days, May 3

As I grew tired of spending countless hours in Internet cafes uploading videos and slideshows, I stopped doing so duing the last three weeks of my trip.
Here is a sample of some of the things I experienced:

Elephants at Mole National Park 1
Elephants at Mole National Park 2
Krobo Girls Initiation Rite (Dipo) 1
Krobo Girls Initiation Rite (Dipo) 2

Kids dancing
Spirit Dance in North West Ghana
Near Weichaw/Spirit Dance Ceremonie

Spending time with a family of fishermen

Atimpoku, April 15

In a few weeks, I got to experience a wide range of the Ghanaean culture and feel very satisfied with my journey. I did not speak much of my inner experiences as I wanted to sink in the spirit of the land and let go of many of the concepts and preoccupations that permeate my western mind. I also experienced a lot of physical ailments from rashes to extremely achy joints to constipation, all of which challenged me deeply. I accepted all these symptoms as part of the healing and initiation that I came to seek on this continent. At times, I felt so tired that I could barely walk. Othertimes, I couldn`t find food I felt comfortable eating. Being here isn`t easy. The heat, humidity, dust and pollution in the cities take a toll on my system. But it opens my heart to the needs of developing countries. I feel softened by many of what I have seen and felt here. Today, I prayed that my last two weeks be filled with joy and celebration as my colon is slowly regaining its flow...I am thankful to be here. I am thankful to have so much.

Girls` Initiation Rites, April 14

At Mole National Park, a PeaceCorps volunteer had told me she attended a girls` initiation ritual last year, and indicated that it was happening in April in the Volta region. I couldn`t find any information about the event anywhere but I knew the girls were covered with beads. A few days later, while mentioning to another traveler about my quest for the initiation rite, she pointed me in the direction of Somanya, in the Eastern Region, an area well known for its bead making. I returned to Accra and was told there that the festival was over and took place the week before. Darn! Something however pushed me to go there, and as I neared Somanya in the evening, I spotted three fully adorned girls in a village. Were they keeping their attire days after the ceremony, with their beads and headdress? As I got to Somanya, I was again told that the festival was over. In the morning, I asked the hotel manager if he knew anything and he told me to go to the chief`s house to inquire. I walked through the town and found the chief`s house. A young man by the name of Tsitsi asked me what I was looking for. He took me to an elder who pointed to a house where we went to talk to some women elders. They pointed to another house. We went to at least five houses around the village until somehow the grandmothers were satisfied with Tsitsi`s translation of my request. We finally arrived in a compound where a ceremony was under way. Six or seven young girls were being taken through various phases of the ritual-eating roasted corn from the riverside, eating plantain fufu, etc. After a while, we were asked to leave and return the next day for the final phase of their initiation. The next day, Tsitsi took me to the chief, who turns out to be the head chief of the Krobo people. The Queen Mother (the female counterpart of the chief) was also there, and they both granted me an audience. I was sweating profusely as I formulated my questions, and was deeply touched by their kindness and eloquence. Tsitsi revealed to me that he`s part of the royal family and as a boy, sat at the foot of that chief and was his personal assistant. No wonder why he knows his way around the spiritual matters of his village! We left the chief`s house to attend the final part of the Dipo initiation and again had to go and get permission from the 80 year-old neighborhood chief who offered gin to the ancestors and our visiting party. As we arrived to the initiation compound, the girls were fully dressed with paint, beads and other body adornements. They were fed meat from a goat that had been sacrificed on the shrine stones where soon they will go to sit before being declared women. They left for the shrine and returned from the shrine on the backs of running men and women. Back at the compound, they were welcomed back and began dancing with the grandmas and celebrating with their mothers (I did not see any fathers around!).
That Sunday evening, I went to the town center with Tsitsi and his friends, and danced in the streets to the beats of highlife and hiphop music, and got a good dose of love from men and women alike.
(see slide show) (see video clip 1 and video clip 2)

Christmas in April, April 9

Boy it is fun to go shopping! At 7:00 am, 18 kids, 2 teachers, the school headmaster and myself chartered a trotro to go to to the market at the nearby town of Agona. The kids were actually very orderly. It was the other kids, swarming on our gathering as we were picking shoes, who were difficult to deal with. They all wanted to join the team and get shoes as well! The headmaster`s sister has a little restaurant-bar near the market where we stopped for refreshments. We left the first 8 kids for whom we had found shoes and continues shopping for the other sizes. Seeing the kids` face light up after they got their shoes was a treat. Feeling the envy of all the town kids watching was more difficult...The next day, I went to the school where the kids had gathered and got into their jerseys and newly purchased socks for a final picture shoot. Thank you Karim (11) and sister Mali for raising the funds that allowed so much happiness to spread through the little fishing village of Akwidaa! (see slideshow)

Back on the Coast, April 8

Just returned from an amazing trip to the North, visiting elephants, farming communities and attending a Ghost dance in the middle of nowhere (not a car in sight!).
Some of the highlights of last weeks were:
Finding that dance by asking a school teacher who was from the farming community where the dance was taking place.
Bicycled 30 miles on a dirt road to get there (my bottom is destroyed!) and slept on the ground in a farming compound with the kids, goats and chickens.
Broke an axle on a trotro ride and ended up in a ditch without a scratch.
Got peed on by a goat that was traveling on the trotro roof.
Distributed 7 soccer balls in a poor neighborhoods when I waited for a bus.
Had a rough 14 hour ride on dirt roads in a bus where there was no room for my knees. (Had to surrender after 2 hours of bitching and moaning agony!)
Currently staying on the beach near a tiny fishing village, enjoying the water and the serenity.
Banged and scratched my head while playing with kids in a small village.
Tomorrow I am chartering a bus and taking 18 kids from the school in the fishing village to outfit the soccer team with soccer shoes.
I am well. Feeling my heart open more everyday, humbled by the poverty here (in one of the most developed and stable African countries!).
PS. Internet is really scarce and slow so I can`t upload much pictures. See a few here slide show 1, slide show 2, slide show 3

Soccer Balls and Shoes for the Kids

Want to help bring some goodwill to Africa? At the onset of my trip, I asked Karim, my 11 year-old nephew, if he could help raise money through his school and soccer team, to purchase soccer balls and shoes for underprivileged African children. To this day, he`s raised over $300 for that cause! I will be buying soccer balls everyday to give to children in the villages and find a young team to sponsor when I get to Accra at the end of my journey. If you wish to contribute to that effort, please use my Paypal account.
Thanks for helping spread the joy!
UPDATE: Last week, I distributed 7 soccer balls in a poor neighborhood of Wa, in the North of Ghana. Tomorrow, I am buying soccer shoes to 18 school kids in the small fishing village of Takwidaa on the Southern coast. (See slide show)

Emerging from the Dust, March 31

Just got to Tamale, in the upper region of Ghana, after traveling in the dust for 2 days. The trip in the travel guide was not recommended for the faint of heart and I understand why! Yesterday, it took me 14 hours and 3 different rides to cover 300 miles. The first ride was a typical 30 passenger trotro packed to the gills. I had my pack on my lap and got terribly cramped during the journey. It rained for a while and water was gushing down my side as my window was missing. The second ride was a rasta pickup modified for passenger (or sheep!) transport. 15 people got in the back and I sat in the front along with two other passengers and the driver. The shifting was taking place between my legs! The gas tank consisted of a 2 gallon plastic jug sitting on the passenger floor with a hose coming from the engine. We had to stop every 2 miles to put more water in the radiator as it kept overheating and the radiator had no cap. The third ride was a Peugeot 504 from 1978 and we squeezed 9 people in a car no bigger than a Honda Accord. The tires were completely bare and the engine was running so rough that the car stalled at least a dozen time. It took 2 hours to cover the last 16 miles and I got to Bimbilla at night. A young boy led me to a guest house where I got a room for $6. I happy to take a shower and wash my pack that was completely caked from traveling on the roof during one ride!

The previous days were spent in the upper Volta Region in some marvelously luscious jungle, swimming in waterfalls and taking long hikes in the steamy forest, surrounded by butterflies, cacao trees, plumerias and mango trees (not ripe yet!). (see slideshow)

My camera LCD screen broke so it will be hard to take photos from now on...

I am reajusting my plans as the traveling is exhausting. I may visit Mole National Park to see some wild elephants and head to the Gold Coast after that. I am well otherwise, appreciating all that I have after traveling some very poor areas in the North.

Sponsor a Local Ghanaean Band!

I`ve had the pleasure to meet some young and talented musicians in Accra whose band "Sea Water" is trying to cut their first CD. I attended several of their rehearsals and was deeply moved by their sincerity, heart and discipline. They work with minimal equipment (I had to buy them an electrical power strip because theirs was worn out!) and they borrow most of their instruments from friends. I wish to help them buy some decent equipment, in particular a keyboard, an amp and mixing board for their vocals, and a drum kit. I should be able to purchase all that they need for less than $750. If you wish to help contribute to this drive, please send check to: Mali Piottin, 1552 N. 128th St. Seattle, WA 98133 or use my Paypal account. See the band and hear some of their music (video clip 1 and video clip 2) Sorry about the poor quality of the videos but their rehearsal place has no light!

The Darkuman School, Accra, March 25

I visited the Darkuman school one more time before leaving Accra, and got to dance and play music with the kids. That day, they were not singing with enough passion, so the teachers stopped the prayer and lectured them pretty heavily, threatening them with the stick! (corporel punishment is still used in the schools!). I spoke with Fiona, the young teacher from Whales about the possibility of coming back to Ghana in the near future, and getting $ sponsorship for a children project. She was very receptive. Maybe we could get Casper, the other teacher from England and our beloved Morgan and Chas from Atlanta, to join us on such an endeavor (see slide show of school visit)

Krokrobite beach on Easter, March 24

Back in Accra, I unloaded some 8 pounds off my back, stuff I most likely won`t need such as sleeping bag, sleeping mat, water pump and some clothes that were just too hot. I also got myself some nice clothes for my evening strolls through towns. On Easter day, Nana, Tuba and I went to Krokrobite beach and I had never seen so many people in one spot. There must have been 200,000 people swimming, playing and even boxing on that beach. Later in the afternoon, we went dancing at a beach club playing Ghana hiphop. I had so much fun with the boys as men love to dance together in packs! I invited some girls to dance with us and it got pretty steamy! Only after we left did Tuba tell me that these were "club girls", out to get the tourists! The trotro ride back was absolutely nuts, on a road packed with honking buses and cars (see video clip)
On my last day in Accra, I realized that I`ve had enough of the city, its noise and pollution. As much as I have had a wonderful time with all the people I met and hung out with, I feel like I got a bit distracted from my purpose.
So I am back in Ho, in the Volta Region, and heading north from here towards Burkina Faso. My heart is doing well and I am having many insights about acceptance and being in the moment-the true gift of Africa! I keep trying to "plan" my journey but everything seems to point in the direction of just trusting and opening to what everyday has to offer. I feel softer and gentler by the day. Maybe Africa is really doing me! (see slide show of the day)

In Paradise, Tokor, Ghana, March 21

Today, I hesitated again. Someone told me that on Monday there would be a large gathering of revelers, musicians and dancers near some waterfalls some 2 hours North of where I am. I also wanted to go back to Accra to unload some of my camping stuff as my pack is too heavy (28lbs) to travel in this hot climate. I chose to stay around Ho for another day and go visit the villages around the mountain of Adaklu. I boarded a trotro that took an hour to load before departure-it was filled with women with babies returning from the market. I got off at a little village at the base of the mountain and started walking along the dirt road (see video clip), stopping at a couple outdoor church services along the way. Soon after leaving the village, I spotted a tiny walking trail going towards the mountain and decided to take my chances. I wanted to go around the mountain and hopefully get to some remote villages. I walked passed cultivated areas and the trail ended. I then entered a thick jungle and found a trail not too far after following a dried-up creek. The trail started going up and around a corner I met a very young girl trying to load a huge hardwood log on her head. I gave her a hand and was blown away that she could carry a 20lbs chunk of wood like that. She was not older than 7 or 8. After a while I asked her if she wanted me to help her carry the log and she agreed. Walking uphill with that amount of weight was hard for me! (see video clip). I got to the small village of Tokor (see video clip) (population 300) and immediately got surrounded by young children. I sat down with them under a big tree and was soon greeted by a gentle man named Bismark. He took me to his house and we chatted under the porch. He works for an NGO based in the US that sponsors projects such as water catchments, libraries and schools (see video clip). The little village was the cutest thing I had seen so far. Clean, organic in every sort of way, with mud dwellings, no electricity or running water. With a constant breeze and tucked on the side of the magnificent mountain, the place felt like paradise to me. I wanted to stay and inquired about that possibility. Bismark was open to the idea and introduced me to one of the village elders as he accompanied me out of town. At the next village at the bottom of the hill, I stopped for a cold drink and was greeted by some pretty drunk young men who lectured me on God and heaven. I told them I had just visited paradise but they did not get it! A rowdy young fellow of no more than 17 or 18 was having a fierce argument with some other men, yelling and cussing. I walked a mile out of that village before being picked up by a cab. Guess who was in the cab-the rowdy fellow, still yelling, obviously pretty pissed about something. The ride back was interesting... (see slideshow of the day)

Yaouzieee! March 21 Abutia Kloe, Ghana

I had a late start today after spending three hours online changing all my passwords because of the loss of my flash drive. I booked another night in Ho and decided to spend the day exploring the surrounding countryside. I hesitated between three very different destinations: a circle of some 40 villages at the foot of the tallest local mountain (butte?), a weavers` village or a nature reserve. The later won, and I took a cab shortly after noon to cover the 12 miles to the little village of Abutia Kloe, and walked the remaining 2.5 miles on foot-without water. Not only do I dress like a tramp but I travel like a dork! The walking on the dirt road was a treat of quietness and greenery (see video). At the park entrance, I was greeted by a 10 year-old girl who was cooking yam over a camp fire. She fetched her uncle who woke up from a nap to put his worn out ranger uniform and rubber boots, and grabbed his 1950 shotgun. He took me on a nice walk through the savanna where we spotted over 100 grazing kobs (horned antelope), and through the adjacent forest where I got to meet my first giant native trees (don`t know their name yet). It was a real treat after being in the city for 10 days! We passed near a man-made water whole for the serve animals and it was full of fish! I asked how the fish got there and the guide told me that God put them there and as long as there was fish, there will be water in that hole. So fishing isn`t allowed of course! The park manager gave me a ride out of the park on his motorcycle (see slideshow)
After getting a cool drink in the tiny village of Abutia Kloe, I hopped into a cab but jumped out a 100 feet further as I heard live music and saw a gathering under a tree by the roadside. My lucky day? Yes, I was up for a feast! I hadn`t sat down for more than 5 minutes that a girl grabbed me to dance with her. It was her and me and the whole village watching, cheering and cracking up. As much as I was happy as a clam to finally find myself where I wanted to be, I was also terribly self-conscious, and awkward about not knowing their dancing customs. They obviously have some kind of protocol where the woman controls the dance but I really couldn`t figure out how it all worked. An impressively big man hugged me and asked me to go dance again. I grabbed the girl next to me and the whole circle went berserk! I had no idea what I was supposed to do. I smiled and shook it as good as I could, but couldn`t shake the discomfort of being caught in a flirting/mating dance without knowing what I was getting into. Well, when the girl grabbed my face and gave me a juicy kiss, I knew I was getting into more trouble than I was ready for, so I stepped away from the dance to regain my bearings. I went to the corner store and bought a case of beer for the musicians. One of the elders came over to me and gave me a big hug and kissed me on the cheeks. The young men were pouring themselves shots of gin and were getting a bit rowdy. I thought it was time to leave as dusk was falling so I jumped into a trotro and sadly said goodbye to the girl who had so kindly given me a kiss. What a lovely day I had! (see dance video 1 and dance video 2)

If you Found my Flash Drive

REWARD! If you found my flash drive at the Internet cafe in Osu, Accra, and are reading this blog after finding its address on the drive, please give me a call. I have some important information and photos on it. Poki 024 876 1914.

Thanks a million!

Out of Accra, March 20

Finally out of Accra and into the countryside. On my way out of town, I saw thousands of fruit bats hanging from trees and took it as a good omen for this new leg of my journey. I headed for the Volta River delta where I heard it was mellow. Yes it was indeed! I was the only one at the beach resort, the last guests visited two weeks ago from what the register indicated. I walked for a few miles on the sand to get to the resort, as I did not want to take a boat ride there, and got a bit harassed by a horde of kids asking for money. I had to do a bogeyman dance to scare them off. Along the way, I got to speak with some local fishermen who were supervising the building of their new canoe. After I told them I had been a fisherman in my youth, I got to ask them lots of technical questions about their ways of fishing.
After much needed rest (my pack is heavier than I thought!) I decided to head further East on the other side of the delta. Instead of going on the beach, I decided to walk through the fishermen`s village and it was a treat! (see slide show). There were no roads, no cars and no electricity. Just women cooking and washing, and kids playing. And the children, maybe in the proximity of their relatives, were sweet and not overwhelming like the day before on the beach. In the trotro out of town, I got so engaged in a conversation with a young Canadian that I missed my stop, and not willing to get dropped off at the border (Togo) town of Aflao, I decided to head north to Ho. I am now enjoying this quieter town, and had dinner with two young women, volunteers from Europe, after rescuing them from a local hustler who followed their cab to the restaurant.
Carrying my backpack feels strange. Now I am one of them tourists, sweating, wearing funny clothes and standing out like an eyesore. Everyone here dresses very sharp. I almost want to buy some fine clothes because I really feel like a tramp!

Slowly Being Cooked, Accra, March 18

Last night, after a crazy day walking through town in a scorching heat, I arrived at the Nkrumah circle trotro station to catch my ride back to the hostel around 7PM. The station was jam packed with buses and people. What amazed me was the peace I felt in the lines of people waiting for their bus. There was no pushing, cheating or yelling. In the midst of what appears like complete chaos, with hundreds of trotros parked withing inches of each other, I felt a calm unity in this mass of people, and my body relaxed, surrendering to an energy that makes everything work here, maybe not to western standards, but it works. Today, while walking through the Makola market, acutely aware, as always, of being an "Obruni" (white man), a woman`s smile inspired my face to relax. I immediately felt a wave of smiles all around me, as if my energy affected the whole market. After 10 days in the city, I am beginning to feel like a person, an earth being, intricately connected to the web of souls here. It feels good to shed a bit of that sense of separation. Tomorrow, I will go to the neighborhood school to dance with the children. They`ve been asking about me so I have postponed my departure to the beaches to go play with them again. Their joy is so nurturing, it will charge me up before I head out of town into the country side (see video clip)

Green Apple and Dance Church, Accra, March 17

The power has been out at the hostel and in many parts of the city, so my time at the keyboard has been limited. A couple days ago, I sat next to a lovely young woman in the tro-tro. Her name was Virginia and she was eating an apple. I was floored when she offered me a beautiful green apple! People here have such hearts!
I finally went to the local beach the other day but the sight of overweight westerners drinking cheap beer was less than appealing. I have been enjoying my young friends at the hostel and I took two of them to another rehearsal of Nana`s band last night.
Sunday morning, three of us from the hostel went to a local church-a 3 1/2 hour service! I went because I heard they danced but the dancing and singing was short and sweet, while the preaching was a hammering blitz that squeezed the devil out of me for a few hours at least. The sound must have exceeded 110 decibels and three preachers took turn demanding that the congregation (of a mere 30 or so people) come to service at leat 3 times a week to truly call themselves good Christians. I loved the dancing, but man, do they pound it on these poor souls!
Today, I got a multiple visa for Togo, Cote d`Ivoire, Benin, Niger and Burkina Faso, just in case the wind blows me accross borders. I am ready to get out of town, the heat and pollution are overwhelming. Accra has been good to me and I have made good friends. I won`t be hiring a guide afterall as I don`t want to spend 24/7 with someone I don`t really jive with. The fellow I really wanted to hire did not respond. I got that when these young men return to their villages, they are often asked to stay as shrine keepers or chiefs. But they have created their lives in the city and like it that way. I`m sure I`ll meet the guides that I will need along the way.

A Power Strip for Nana, Accra, March 14

Oh boy, am I having a blast! Tuba, the young drummer who played for the school prayer service on Wednesday called me (I bought a cell phone for those who may want to call me: 011 233 24 876 1914) to invite me to his band practice. We crossed the neighborhood through the alleyways so I got to meet his Auntie and Grandma before going to a shaded grove near the soccer field/dump so he could have a toke with his rasta friends. I got to meet Nana and African Soldiers, two of his band fellows. The size of the joints were impressive and I explained to them that I was on a sabbatical from weed for the moment. We proceeded through the soccer grounds, where no less than a dozen teams of all ages were practicing, to the rehearsal place (

see video clip). A dozen musician and singers were already busy setting up mics and amps, and I marveled at how little equipment they had. I joined their circle for prayer before practice, and watched them play for a couple hours. What a treat of gorgeous harmonies with no less than 6 singers! This morning as I stepped out of the hostel, I ran into a school marching band. Also ran into Nana, one of the band singers and songwriters. He cuts hair at the barber shack next to the hostel, so I got my hair trimmed Ghana style! I took Nana to an electric store to buy a new power strip for their amplifiers because I noticed how worn-out theirs was at rehearsal last night. I want to help these guys get some equipment so if you feel inspired, go to my page on the Gypsie Nation website and please make a donation through my Paypal account. All funds will be used to help with the purchase of amplifiers and a drum kit (for a mere $300!). I am off to a soccer game with Franklin and then to the University for a dance performance by traditional local troupes.

In Love with the Kids, Accra, March 11

This morning, the young teachers from England, who are staying at the hostel with me, took me to their school in our neighborhood. Wednesday is prayer day and for that occasion, they drum, sing and, you have guessed...dance! My kind of church! Within minutes, I was dancing surrounded by children and my heart went bonkers. I haven`t danced for months and had been waiting for that time. I feel so happy. The young kids, the girls especially (8-12) were all over me, even pulling the hair in my armpits! The sight of an Obruni (white man) who could dance was a treat to them. The joy in these kids was outstanding, and the music, played by excellent musicians, was just what my soul was longing for (see slide show).
Yesterday, I returned to the University of Ghana, where my friend Daniel had told me musicians and dancers hangout under a large Baobab tree. And they were there indeed, so I asked for Selasi, whom Daniel studied with, and one of his dancer friends went to get him at the rehearsal hall. We spoke for nearly two hours, joined by two other musicians. I told them my story, the visions and my desire to seek healing in the village dances. They have agreed to take me to their village shrine in a couple weeks. Franklin, the other young man I met with Hammond also agreed to take me to his village in the Volta region near Togo.
The Ancestors are finally smiling upon me and opening new pathways for my journey. I am so happy to be here and love the people so much. I need to learn about kindness and the people here are it!

Accra, Ghana, March 10

Second day in Accra which means I survived my first one! I am staying at the Crystal Hostel, a budget hostel run by a Christian family in Darkuman, a funky but fun neighborhood North of the city. My roommates are Mathew, an American student on a scholarship, making a documentary on football, and Casper, a young British student who teaches English in the city.
I spent my first day getting acquainted with taking tro-tros (small buses), sqeezing myself amongsts the colorfull locals who are adorable and incredibly willing to help a lost tourist. I went to the University of Ghana where I was told musicians and dancers hang out. It was Sunday so no one was practicing but I met Double, a young Ghanean playing a two-string guitar under a tree. We had a little chat and he let me use his cell phone to contact Hammond, the young student that my friend Danielle, who spent a few months here studying dance, recommended I meet. Hammond and his side kick Howard, both twenty and computer students, came late last night to the hotel to meet me. We are meeting again today in an Internet Cafe and meet Franklin, a friend of theirs who is more familiar with the dance culture around the country.
See video clip

Back from the Woods and Turning 50, March 7

First of all, I give thanks to my mother Marie for giving me life (and my dad Roger as well!). A few days of cussing and disentangling myself energetically from a cob web of emotions and memories left me pretty sober to begin the second half of my first century of existence. It’s not that I worked too hard at it, but a series of interesting circumstances kept me dancing on moist grass. First, I paid a visit to Raymonde, Daniel and Denis’ Mother, who lost her mind some 15 years ago after a brain hemorrhage. The 76 year-old woman doesn’t remember a thing, including her vocabulary, so she strives to communicate with a mere dozen words, and sings the rest of the time in the most endearing way (she apparently never sang before!) (see video clip). She also loves to cuddle, so of course I showered her with affection and thought quite fondly of my own Mom, whose beautiful white hair I will never stroke again. I cried softly in her company, basking in a gorgeous spring weather in the hills above Lyon. Then in the afternoon, I got a reading from a friend who works with the Tarrot as well as with the Bach flower remedies. We used the Bach cards and I drew Olive (exhaustion) then Willow (bitterness) and finally Centaury (learning to say No with love). I drew Temperance in the Tarrot and picked the Archangel Raphael as a guide. Well, for those learned ones, you can leave me comments about your take on this reading, but my friend Brigitte, a devotee of Ammachi, gave me a good sense that I was indeed in a phase of fog due to fatigue, and that I needed regeneration. The administered cocktail of Bach remedies was delicious by the way!
Then I met with this wild creature called Lionel, one of my friend Pascale’s budddies, who heals both men and horses. He gave me some interesting perspectives on healing and shielding oneself from negative energies. Yesterday, I went to visit some old friends of my parents who live in a farmhouse outside of Lyon. They are the finest and sweetest people, and very loved by my entire family. I took a long walk in the woods and laid under a tree, facing the sun. I reflected on my intention for my journey to Africa-healing. Healing my sense of being separate from community, healing my anger about events from the past, healing my mistrust of people and healing my body.
As I have shared previously, I have had a rough time preparing myself to go to Africa, to the point of often feeling so sick and unprepared that I wished to turn back. I have had to face so many aspects of my being that I have not had to ever face so fully. I almost felt like on my death bed, revisiting my life, and experienced terror at the amount of incompleteness, negativity and bitterness that I carry in my being. It was frightening to feel so unprepared for death.
So now, I am finally 50 and smiling. I feel ready, calm and yes, at peace with myself. Several talks with my lover, whom I mentioned in my last post, brought me back to balance after falling into some dark places. I climbed back with dignity, courage and even a lot of compassion for her and me. As a teacher of mine used to say: « spiritual progress is not measured by whether you loose your center or not, but how quickly you come back to center after being thrown off balance ». The fire I burnt in this time wasn’t nearly as hot as many others I experienced before. I was aware of reactivating undigested/unforgiven past events, and ritualized a letting go in order to pull myself out of a dangerous spin. It worked because my energy shifted noticeably and things improved quickly towards taking the pain onto the journey. It was another test of spirits before my departure. As strange as everything has been for the past several months, I am still here even though I contemplated vanishing from this Planet because of the intensity of my sorrow, and a debilitating sense of confusion and physical weakness. I had never gone so low without using something to distract myself or numb the pain.
So I celebrate this first half century with an appreciation of the wild and creative existence that I have had. I have never been in such debt and been so uncertain about my future, but I can say honestly that I look forward to becoming younger and wilder everyday! I give thanks to the Spirits and friends who love me, believe in me and guide me along my healing journey.

Burning Hot, Lyon, March 2

I had a feeling last night that it was time to cut loose on this blog and not mind so much about being naked with my heart, body and mind turmoils.  Who reads this darn thing anyway? These last few months have been such a crazy wild ride of battles, surrenders, heart openings, blissful attainements and kamikaze bomb dives into despair and depression.  Chemical imbalance?  Madness?  Cancer? Karma purification?

I know I have been dealing with a broken heart for some time.  That's what got me into dancing and creating Gypsie Nation in the first place.  I needed to dance like mad and create to keep my mind focused.  Rage I already had plenty from chilhood abuse, but deceit and betrayals added many megawatts to my already overheated harddrive.

This decision to take a long absence from my intense four-year creative marathon with Gypsie Nation took me by surprise but I trusted the impetus, as I have trusted many of my irrational decisions of the last 5 years.  The prelude to this journey was difficult as I had to yield when all of me wanted to fight.  I had made a commitment to listen to the elders that I reached out to for help, so I couldn't back out.  Failing my word would be a treason to my spirit.

My close relationship with my two lovers kept me afloat while I was experiencing great sadness and humiliation about once again being alienated from community because of my propensity for anger.  Why in the fucking world do I keep getting caught in the same traps of high expectations and dissapointments? Why do I hurt so much at times that I get into fits of rage?

I finally started feeling better this last week, diligently drinking my cocktails of herbs to detoxify my liver, most likely toxic since I was born, and cooked to perfection by a life of indulgence in chocolate and recreational substances such as pot.

And then two days ago, one of my sweet lovers, whom I have been in constant communication with since I left, announces that she had gotten intimate with another man.  No warning of course!  And many days of communication with her without a clue about this other thing going on.  So the feeling good switched to feeling sick again, but in my stomach and heart this time! Not what I expected to have to deal with a week before my 50th birthday and just before leaving on my walkabout in West Africa.

What bothers me deeply is that she knew very well (more than most) how shitty I had been feeling lately. And she also knows how badly I have been hurt by not being spoken the truth before.  So once again, I am swimming in an ocean of mistrust and sadness.  Fuck!

I have been so careful and caring in my loving these two women and have learned a lot about being communicative, honest and respectful.  

This situation is showing me clearly how delicate being in intimate and truthful relationship is, especially in relationships of this type! 

Countless memories and ghosts from the past have awakened, tugging at scars and testing my heart's ability to sustain love under duress.  Ouchy!  Man, my ass is getting kicked left and right.  I intuited that this journey had an initiatory dimension but I would have never anticipated such intense confrontations with so many demons!

Is this just an appetizer before the main African course?  With 7 days left before lift off, I guess I'd better get on my knees and pray!

Healing certainly isn't easy and I hope I find the courage to stand up to this recent trial and weather whatever else I must face.  

Back in the Saddle, Feb 25

I am amazed at how quickly my vitality has come back.  My daily coktails of chlorophyl, blackradish juice, dandelion tincture, milk thistle and now green clay have done wonders.  For weeks, upon waking, I had horrible bags under my eyes, and felt terribly stiff even though I kept up with my morning yoga regimen.  All this has awakened in me a deep curiosity about how possibly toxic my liver may have been, not just since the vaccinations, but for years.  Was my quick temper more related to an unhealthy liver than an actual emotional wound? I am deeply motivated to find out if a continued diet to cleanse my liver will radically affect my irritability and reactivity.

I finally feel on track with my intent for this journey-healing on a deep level.  

As much as my life has been amazingly exciting and productive, I have been reflecting, during these last few weeks of weakness and stagnation, on how plagued with conflicts and break-ups my existence has been.  What would it be to live with more peace, ease and love?  What would it take to avoid creating so much turbulence in my path?  How can I develop more spaciousness and take things less personally?

I have given myself a long break from many of my habits such as work, pot, driving, starring at a computer screen and even chewing gum, so I pray that this journey yields wonders on my heart and that I come back a very healthy and happy (yes!) man.

Healing My Liver, Lyon, Feb. 22

Ever since I arrived in Europe, my vitality had been slumping. After the usual recovery from jetlag and adjustment to a new (and rich !) diet, my energy kept getting more and more sluggish. I gave myself ample room to go slow and begin a journey of healing, but I started navigating through some very strange states. Besides my body being less than cooperative (tiredness as well as muscle and joint aches), my mind was also going toward a blank . I felt kinda lost, unable to make any decisions regarding where to go next on this trip. Many times, I contemplated returning to the US because I felt so weak I did not feel fit to travel to Africa. I had never felt so vulnerable before.

Was the deep healing that I was seeking manifesting in this way, taking me first through a descent full of anxiety, physical pains, doubt and confusion ? At times, it was as if I was in a strange dream. Everything in me was slow, hazy and empty of meaning.

Not having to do too much, I laid low, read, slept and napped copiously. Be patient and kind with yourself I was told. So I did ! In six weeks, things kept getting worse. I started suspecting a candida overgrowth as my diet had been rich in bread, cheese and, you know, French pastries !

An osteopath was visiting my friend Lala, with whom I am staying in Lyon, so I decided to have a session with her. For nearly two hours, she worked on me, trying to bring heat to my freezing feet and get my energy moving again. She mentioned, from the information I gave her during the intake interview, that my liver was probably dumping toxins and was creating the tiredness.

At that time, a light bulb went on ! Two months ago I got vaccinated for yellow fever, thyphoid, polio, tetanus,, hepatitis and meningitis. Vaccins are hard on the liver and I hadn’t really done anything to help my system cope with the toxicity.

That night, I did some research on Google and set out to the health food store in the morning to get : Black radish, Dandelion, Ginger, Milk Thistle, Rosemary, as well as homeopathic Thuya to help eliminate the aluminum that the vaccines contain.

Well guess what ? After one coktail of the wonderous substances, I felt my joy, clarity and energy immediately come back !

I finally was able to make a decision for my next destination and booked a ticket for Ghana for March 8th.

It has been a very humbling experience to say the least !

Chartreuse, France, Feb. 17-19

My friends Dan and Lala invited me to spend the weekend in Chartreuse, 1 1/2 hour from Lyon. Denis, Dan's brother, was going to be there with his daughter Loulou. I haven't seen Denis in over 20 years. He's a musician and artist married to renowned French choreographer Maguy Marin. I used to live with Dan and Denis when I taught skiing in the Alps in the late 70's. Seeing him opened my heart to something new, something I may have forgotten-a love of men, especially those who are way off the chart! The kids convinced me to go skiing and I went with my street clothes! I had the sweetest time skiing in the old resort of St Pierre de Chartreuse. We stayed in a 100 year-old farm house that my friends' community renovated. Raclette, the typical melted cheese-over-potatoes dish from the region, was on our menu the first night. Carried away by my excitement of being with my old friends, I ate as I used to do 30 years ago and paid the price the next day! I could barely move and spent most the day lounging on the deck. Walking around the woods and fields was a delight. Being up in this pristine and serene part of France was a reprieve from the madness, stench and filth of Marrakesh where I was a few days ago. See Slideshow

After a week in Morroco, Feb. 9

Since I told many people I would maintain a blog and have put link to it on the Gypsie Nation website, I gues I need to start somewhere. However, I have to admit having much resistance to sharing what I am experiencing on this journey.

In late September, when I decided to go visit my family in France and Morroco (my last visit to France was in 1994!), I surprised myself with booking a ticket for a 3 1/2 months trip when I thought I was going for a short visit. During the next several weeks, I received distinct messages from African animal spirits asking me such things as "you need to bring us back with you". I took these messages as if I needed to go to Africa to get something-some initiation, experience or healing that would continue feeding my spirit journey and nurture the Gypsie Nation vision.

The two months I spent in Seattle before heading to France were very difficult. Distancing myself from Gypsie Nation, upon the advice of the elders Kenneth Green and Woody Vaspra, and after being at the epicenter of much emotional turmoil within our organization, left me spinning in a dusty coktail of grief, anger and abandonment. Away from my usual whirlwind of creation, traveling, meetings and dancing, I sunk into much despair. Tending to my friend Ted who was dying of cancer was also quite a challenge as his mental turmoil deeply affected me. Staying with my sister Mali was a blessing however, her deep nurturing love and acceptance gave me space to begin a new level of healing. Allowing myself to be seen and held in the emotional state that I was in was not easy. After so many years of squabbling, becoming in love again with my sister was a magnificent gift.

My two weeks in France were relatively calm as I visited my oldest brother, my father and his partner, my niece and grand nephew, my nephew, as well as a few old friends. I felt calm and detached during the daytime, yet concerned about having no destination for my journey besides a visit to a brother in Morroco. At night, as in Seattle, I swam in anxiety about going to Africa and returning home (if only I had one!).

As much as signals were clear before my departure that my destination was Africa, no particular country was calling me specifically. So I booked a one way ticket to Marrakech, Morroco and have now been in the country for over a week.

My brother lives in a small town in the Atlas mountains and supervises the construction of a horse ranch and hostel, part of a traveling outfit called Sport Travel. Landing in this quiet and depressed area threw me again in a spin of questioning about the purpose of my journey. I deeply enjoy connecting with my older brother Eric whose sense of hospitality is exquisite, and whose love of Nature parrallels mine, but my first exposure to an Islamic culture is rattling my tiny cage. Seeing lethargic men laying around town while women wash laundry and carry huge stacks of wood is shocking and revolting. I had been warned by both my brother and my sister Mali who have traveled extensively in African countries, yet the direct experience is painful to my sensitive nature.

Traveling in remote areas however and going over the craziest of mountain passes, I discover villages of amazing beauty, with gardens fed by ellaborous irrigation system, blooming almond trees and kids whose faces still reflect the innocence of a people hardly touched by our modern civilization.

Attempting to get any clarity on the next leg of my journey has been difficult in this environment, and most of my early mornings in bed have been riddled with doubt and anxiety, to the point of wanting to abandon the journey and return home.

I sold my car to pay for this journey as my last four years of supporting Gypsie Nation have exhausted all my savings and left me in debt. In my state of limbo and fear, my mind has been drifting into the future, wondering how I will fare when I get back to the US, with no money, no home, no car and no livelihood.

Needless to say that this journey so far has kicked my sweet buns. I have always been a self-assured, creative and successful entrepreneur. My inward journey of the past several months has faced me with many challenges and hopefully taught me some humility and compassion. Away from my usual busyness, heavy schedule and agenda, lovers, chocolate and other intoxicants, I am undergoing a stripping down of major proportion.
I often feel naked and vulnerable, small and powerless, especially in front of the poverty and illiteracy plagging a great percentage of the population here, leaving Islam to fill the gap and keeping a population in bondage.

After 10 days in Morroco, I have decided to return to France to stage the next leg of my journey. Flying to Africa from France and getting visas is easier there.

Not having opportunities to dance and celebrate in community has been very difficult but has made me appreciate what we have created through Gypsie Nation to uplift our spirit and, hopefully, the spirit of the world.
See Slideshow 1 and Slideshow 2